I had a plan. Ramona was in another Outcast city for a conference and I had the day off; it was the perfect opportunity to spend time with Leslie without interruption. So I made a pot of soup to bring over and share with them.
But as soon as I opened the door to Leslie’s apartment, I could tell something was wrong. Leslie paced in front of their couch as they shook their head and muttered under their breath. They hadn’t even noticed I was there.
What were they worried about? The meetings with the mayor and Ramona had already ended, the byte sector was well protected, and anti-byte attacks had even gone down. Which meant there could only be one thing on their mind.
I slammed the soup onto the table. “Just tell me already!”
Leslie stopped in their tracks, looking at me in surprise.
“It’s me, right?” I continued. “I’m the problem. I’m what you’re so worried about.”
“Um…” Leslie narrowed their eyes and glanced around the apartment as if expecting more people to be there.
I looked down at the floor, burying my hands in my hair as I kept going. “Look, I get it. I really do. You didn’t know how to bring it up and honestly I didn’t either.”
I dropped my arms to my side, briefly glancing at Leslie. They stared back at me with an open mouth and raised eyebrows.
“But I don’t know the rules out here!” I shouted. “Back in the System, with an assigned mate or a practice mate, you’re expected to be intimate right away.”
“What?!”
My arms flailed wildly as I kept talking, ignoring Leslie’s outburst. “I don’t know how it works with Outcast partners. And I’m sorry if I’ve ruined your expectations – ”
“NO, gods, no!”
“ – but really all you have to do is ask. I’ll do whatever.”
“DAX, STOP TALKING!”
I clamped my mouth shut. Leslie had a hand covering their eyes. In the silence, all I could hear was their rattled breathing. What had I done? Had I ruined everything?
Leslie slowly lowered their hand so they could meet my eyes. “That,” they said, “what you’re talking about.” They scoffed. “I find that sort of thing really… gross.”
As soon as they’d said that, a rush of air escaped from my chest. I felt so much lighter that I sank into the chair at the table. “I was worried for nothing,” I muttered as I stared down.
The other chair creaked as Leslie sat. They reached across the table, their fingers caressing my chin as they tilted my head up. “I’m sorry if that doesn’t work for you.”
“Are you kidding?” I replied. “I’m so relieved.”
Leslie blinked. “Really?”
I leaned back in my chair. “Absolutely. I mean, it’s not like I hated it back in the System, but honestly, it is such a weird thing for people to do.”
A small smile appeared on Leslie’s lips. “I’m glad I found you,” they said.
I smiled back. “Me too.”
To be continued…