Content Warning: depiction of anxiety, reference to depression
I found myself in a library staring at the shelves filled with hundreds of books. I’d never seen so many in my life before – physical copies of literature were rare in the System. With a deep breath, I began my search, though I had no idea what I was looking for.
The Strokes were deciding if I was even allowed to apply for a position with them. Since there had been no word yet, I had to consider the possibility of them telling me no. And for once in my life, I planned to be prepared for rejection.
As I walked among the rows of books, barely glancing at the titles, I briefly wondered if I could try to become a lawyer in Illagu. But as soon as the thought came up, my breathing became shallow, my heart raced and I remembered how difficult law school was in the Sytem; I remembered how quickly I’d forgotten enjoyment after my studies had started.
Maybe trying the Outcast version wasn’t such a good idea. I took down a book from the shelf, flipping through its pages to see if anything caught my attention. With a sigh, I placed the book back where I’d found it. What was I even doing?
I picked out a few books with interesting titles and walked over to an empty table. Science, history, music theory – at least one of those had to spark something for me.
Flipping through the pages of each book, I didn’t understand half and was bored by the rest. Then I heard whispering behind me.
“I’m telling you, we get rid of the bytes, aljoekmtefdjsuhirjemfdsed,” one voice whispered.
“But itetjemntre bytes, it’s the System,” the other voice whispered back.
I stared dared down at my open book, pretending to read while I tried to concentrate on their conversation. Eavesdropping was hard enough with my defect, but their whispering would require more focus. As I did, my fingers twirled around the slippery green thread at the corner of the book.
“Bytes, System,” said voice number one. “Same difference.”
“I’m still not following,” responded voice number two.
“It’s simple really. The System cetienrhfdusdmrfjdhujrits bytes, so we destroy them.”
I let out a loud squeak. The book in front of me had unraveled! I glanced over my shoulder to see the two people who had been talking staring at me.
I chuckled nervously. “It’s a really good part,” I said.
They shared a look, then stood up from the table and walked away. I quickly turned back to what had been a library book. My grip was still tight on the string I had pulled, so the book hadn’t completely disappeared from existence.
Before me was a web of brightly colored strings, twisting and crossing over one another in the loose shape of an open book. The electric purple coiled around deep blue threads as much as the orange weaved its way through the green. Slowly, and very carefully, I moved the thread I held back to where it had been. The strings writhed, coiling tighter and tighter until the book was back to normal.
I released the thread. Nothing happened. I inspected the book closely, making sure it was truly back to how it had been. I sighed in relief.
How… had I even done that? I’d had no idea if it would work or if it was possible, but, somehow, I had reversed an unraveling.
“Magic,” I whispered, a smile forming on my lips. “I can study magic.”
To be continued…